It’s hard to miss the #deletefacebook movement. And believe me, I’m tempted.

Apart from a few notable exceptions, social media is mostly a waste of time. But that doesn’t make it less entertaining or addictive. If it weren’t, people wouldn’t hand over all their personal data for the privilege of seeing what acquaintances from high school had for brunch.

To give you some background, I grew up in the 90s, truly the land before time. I vividly remember the sound of the modem logging me onto the internet, such as it was circa 1995.

I think the world was a much better place before social media and smartphones. Less convenient, maybe, but there was a time when you actually had to talk to people, get to know your neighbors and try to get along with people who don’t share the same point of view. Someday, my kids will be incredulous that there was a time you might get lost and have to ask a stranger for directions or that a ride wasn’t a few app taps away in the not-too-distant past.

In theory, deactivating your account is a great idea. In theory.

But I’m also a realist and I have to pay my bills (part of my job is monitoring social media). It’s also one of the only ways I can reliably stay in touch with family and friends.

“Hey, let’s watch that video I took of the fireworks last year,” said no one. Ever. Photo by ben o’bro on Unsplash

Nevertheless, we can all be smart about how and how much we use social media. If you’re not sure if you really need to cut back, consider the following:

• 264 million Americans use a smartphone and, collectively, we look at them about 12 billion times a day. If that’s not a colossal waste of life, I don’t know what is.
• The virtual places where many of us spend our hours are bad for mental and emotional well-being—the latest studies show that the more social networks a young adult uses, the more likely he or she is to report depression and anxiety.
• Our “smart” technology isn’t too clever when it comes to protecting our identities. Between last year’s massive Equifax and wireless hacks, and the news that even your vacuum cleaner is out to get you, technophobes have had a bunch of “I told you so” moments in the last year.

Ok, so how can we protect our emotional wellbeing and create a more balanced relationship with social media and our smartphones? In trying to do just that, here’s what I’ve learned:

Turn off your phone during meals and make sure they aren’t anywhere near your family table. Your children emulate you. Don’t teach them that staring at an electronic box is more important than family time.

Banish your phone from the bedroom. Your marriage will thank me. Trust.

Delete social media apps from your phone and force yourself to use the desktop version. I use my laziness to my advantage. If I have to log on to my laptop to check out my newsfeed, I don’t do it as much.

Enlist the help of technology. I admit it—I became a little obsessed with reading the news on Facebook after the 2016 election, to the point that I found it difficult to focus on other tasks. I used Cold Turkey to wean myself off. It’s not just for social media—the program can block any website you find distracting for whatever length of time you choose. It’s a powerful tool in your arsenal to live a more present life.

Go greyscale. Without all the bright colors, your phone is significantly less appealing. This article explains how to do it.

Just don’t look. I get it. The apps are designed to be addictive. And no one is immune to the lift you get when a post gets lots of likes and shares—who doesn’t want to feel popular? How do you stop yourself from getting obsessed?

• Turn off push notifications on your phone.
• Filter email notifications into a separate folder. This way, you can check them all at once and not be constantly distracted as they come in. Here’s how to do it in gmail.

It feels like a constant struggle and some days are better than others. But I try to remind myself that no one is lying on their death bed wishing they spent more time mindlessly scrolling through their social media accounts or staring at their phones. So, turn it off and spend your time with people that actually matter.